The Calling, Part III: Grand and Glorious

Setting: Before Chapter 1 

His hands shook around the piece of paper. 

 

If you find this letter, it’s because I’ve succeeded and finally died on my own terms. 

 

She was fine when he saw her last. 

 

Friends, family, please, do not blame yourselves. You are not to blame for my untimely demise. I am sorry that I couldn’t stick it out like you. 

 

When he pulled his thumb over the letter, a little blood smeared over the words, spreading across the paper and across the diligent handwriting in blue ink. 

 

We as humans never asked to be born into this life. 

 

Fuck. Fuck, this was… Fuck. 

 

However we begin, we don’t have the desire to exist. And yet, we are forced into it anyway. 

 

Maybe they didn’t get to choose. But he liked existing. Because he had her.

 

Some may choose to stay in this life out of a sense of obligation. 

 

He could feel the uncomfortable swirl of emotions in his gut as his eyes skimmed the words. The last words that she had for the world. And fuck, he hated it too, but… 

 

But to whom are we obligated to stay? 

 

He didn’t know what he was going to do without her. 

 

Perhaps if I had been born into a better world, I wouldn’t have to write this now. 

 

Fuck. 

 

There’s nowhere for me to go from here.

 

She could have done anything she damn well pleased. 

 

They were going to choose my name tomorrow. I just had a feeling. Everyone at school thinks that since Raoul died, lightning wouldn't strike our little borough twice. 

 

But scientifically speaking, lightning did strike twice. He hated how he almost… Related. This almost excused this sorry sight.

 

They were going to choose my name. They were going to choose my name I knew they were going to do it. I could just feel that they were going to choose me. 

 

There was no way for her to know that for sure. Statistically, with how many children were in their District, there was such a slim chance that the name drawn from that bowl would be hers. He hadn’t ever been drawn after all, and if anything, his odds were higher than hers, being older. 

 

The thought that I was going to be paraded around like a piece of fresh meat… I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be subjected to that. So I decided to die on my own terms. 

 

How differently would this have ended if he was present last night? It was going to be her last one. They were so close. 

 

To whoever finds me, I’m sorry for what you have to witness. I spent hours looking for nightlock, wanting to make this painless as possible, but the area was barren of all poisons. I don’t want to be saved. I will be happier to not exist than to live in constant fear. If I didn’t die in the Arena, it would have been starvation. Or getting shot for thievery. I can’t live in a world like this anymore. 

 

He hated that she wasn’t wrong. He wanted to despise this note. The last thing she would write for him. But he didn’t. No matter how bright the future looked, no matter how much he was helping her study to join him in attending Uni, it didn’t matter. They were always going to be slaves to fate this way, all because of where they were born. 

 

Pointer, please don’t blame yourself. Even if you were here all this time, it wouldn’t have mattered. If you blame anyone, blame fate, for putting me into existence in the first place. The only good thing about existing was having you as my big brother. But not even you could have protected me from this. 

 

Right. She was right.

 

Now, I hope to be reincarnated as a falcon. Have you seen them? They’re so free. They are the hunters of the sky. They don’t experience oppression, they don’t worry about clothes on their backs or money in their pockets. They survive on their own merit. And they are quite intelligent as well. I know how you value intelligence. 

 

Fuck. Why? He couldn’t even be angry with her for this… Not for any of it. She was just a desperate soul that wanted to escape. And escape she did… He couldn’t even blame her for it. 

 

Look for me in the skies. I hope that you can find a reason to stay. But if it is your desire, I can’t stop you from following me. Either way, I hope you will be free. I love you.

 

He put his finger on the tear drop that smudged the last words. It was dry, indicating that it came from her eye. It could have just as well come from his. 

 

I know this will hurt. But I hope you understand that I had to die on my own terms, not on the terms of these government oppressors. Please don’t be mad at me. It’s the system, the oppression, the world. It is such a dark place. 

 

The first sob escaped his lips, which he tried to hide before realizing how futile of an effort it was. He just covered his mouth with his hand and let out the cries at seeing her sprawled out on the ground in a puddle of blood, and yet, the content expression on her face made him understand why.

 

But just look up and you’ll find me, somehow. Just look up. 

 

Nothing but love for you, brother.

 

~Asteria

 

He closed his eyes as he folded up the letter once more, putting it back on the dresser where he found it. He would call someone to come pick her up later. He closed his eyes for a moment, the pain practically stabbing him as the tears rolled down his cheeks. 

 

Just look up. 

 

And when he did, he could see a necklace hanging from the ceiling tile. He squinted a little bit and stepped up on her bed to grab it, wincing at the bloody footprint he left on her burlap sheet. But the metal in his hands was cool. And he knew what the charm was. It was a rune. Eye of the bird hunter. 

 

Pointer put the necklace around his neck and closed his eyes at the cool metal on his neck. He would keep this on him as long as he could so that she would always recognize him. She probably put it up there for him to find for a reason, Asteria wasn’t the type to wear jewelry for no reason. He would always carry her rune - the mark of who she wanted to be. 

 

When he pulled the charm up to look at it again, something changed. She was right. It was a dark world, the Capitol was oppressing them all, and… And what, he was going to be a weapons specialist for them and spend the rest of his life helping them do this to people, just to get ahead?! He didn’t wish the pain he was feeling on anyone. Something had to change. 

 

Why couldn’t that change be sparked by the brightest in his class? He was going to build something amazing with her legacy, and make her proud. He wanted to protect other people from feeling this feeling. He wanted to protect other kids with hopes and dreams from feeling so hopeless they would go to such an extreme. 

 

He was going to change things. And it was going to start at home. He already learned everything he could from University, some of his professors could barely even keep up with him. Now, it was time for him to stay in District Seven. 

 

And he was preparing for war.